GEEKOLOGIE RSS TEST THREAD

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This is a video edit created by Youtuber kingkida giving The Mandalorian a Sergio Leone inspired spaghetti western style trailer. So, how is The Mandalorian? I've only heard good things but I haven't been able to watch it because I don't have Disney+ because my girlfriend is afraid I'll just binge watch it all day and night and keep not getting a job. *shrug* I've already seen all of Netflix. Keep going for the video.

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Because a win again their rival in the Iron Bowl demands a sacrifice, and apparently that sacrifice is the bushes surrounding the field at Jordan-Hare Stadium (students did the same thing back in 2017, those poor bushes were probably just starting to piece their lives back together), this is a video of an Auburn fan getting stuck in them after the win against Alabama, with some fun Super Mario Bros sound effects added. There's also a student victoriously waving what appears to be the entirety of an Ent penis around in front of her. I'm surprised they didn't blur that out. Keep going for the video, complete with sound effects and sad closeup at the end.

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iphone-bottle-opener.jpg
This is a short video of a man successfully opening a beer bottle with his iPhone, then successfully opening his iPhone with a beer bottle. Whoopsie! That sucks, especially for whoever's iPhone he asked to borrow for this magic trick. Keep going for the video.

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baby-yoda-crochet-pattern-1.jpg
This is the very quality looking Baby Yoda crochet pattern available from Allison Hoffman on Ravelry. The pattern costs $7 and requires about 320 - 500 yards of super bulky yarn, and, provided you have the skills, can expect a 14-inch, 2-pound Baby Yoda complete with robe in about ten hours. Obviously I just send the link to my grandma, and I can expect a call in a couple hours asking if I really sent it, what it is, and if it's safe to click. Keep going for several more shots.

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This is a video from Tolyatti, Russia of a group of fun-lovers taking their go-karts out for a spin along a frozen river. I'm into it. "You're into everything." What can I say, I'm a free spirit. So, have you given any more thought to the-- "I'm not going to a swingers party with you." Come on, it's weird when I show up stag. "Like Harry's patronus?" I'm being serious! Keep going for the video.

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This is a video from the welterweight men's semi-finals in the SEAGames 2019 Arnis Competition between the Philippines (in red) and Cambodia (in blue). Some more information about arnis while I see if there are any beginner's classes available in my area:
Arnis is the national martial art sport of Philippines. It is also known as Eskrima and Kali. This sport actually emphasizes weapon based fighting which is done using knives, bladed weapons, sticks and various improvised weapons. It also includes hand to hand combat, grappling and weapon disarming methods.
Looks pretty intense, doesn't it? I bet that's a good workout. A real calorie burner. Me? *loading poison blowdart gun* I like to battle smarter, not harder. *aims blowgun, inhales dart* Oh shit, not again. Listen -- I need you to do me a quick favor. "Please don't tell me the antidote is in your butt." Well it sounds like I don't have to. Keep going for eight minutes of high octane battle.

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This is another animated graph from Data Is Beautiful (previously) detailing the most popular television series from 1986 to 2019, as measure by "prime-time first 24 hours audience reports, one week of reported statistics for downloaded copies (pirated), one week of streaming services viewership. Numbers are worldwide with significant bias towards US market up until 2002, afterwards it's balanced by p2p distribution across the globe." Interestingly, in 1986 NBC had five of the top six shows, but by 2019 doesn't have a single show in the top ten. I also learned several other things by watching it, but mostly that it's amazing how many millions of people can have such piss-poor taste in programming. Keep going for the video while I start pitching shows to NBC.

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pool-float-tea-infusers-1.jpg
These are the Float-tea single cup tea infusers available from Fred. You just fill the stainless steel bottom with loose tea, screw on the pool float top, and you'll be sipping the hot stuff in no time. They come in three varieties: pink flamingo, swan, and unicorn. I just bought the flamingo one for my girlfriend because she loves tea, hanging out on pool floats, AND flamingos. "I don't really like tea." But you do like the pool and flamingos! "I do like the pool and flamingos." Haha -- do I know you, or do I know you, Julie? "Amber." Close! Keep going for the video.

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chimney-demo-fail.jpg
Dammit, bricks, you just had to go and get all heavy, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU? -- man in red jacket This is a video of two idiots pushing a brick chimney off the top of a roof and watching it crash into the roof instead of delicately sliding down and off the eave without damaging anything the way you'd expect a ridiculously heavy brick chimney would do. What is wrong with people? Obviously, if you're down on your luck and looking for a little help building a place to call home, I really can't recommend contacting the morons at Habitat For Inhumanity here. Keep going for the video while I speculate if these guys got their roofing credentials off the back of a cereal box.

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baby-yoda-plush.jpg
Hot on the tiny, 50-year old heels of yesterday's do-it-yourself crochet version comes the announcement of an officially licensed Baby Yoda plush doll. The $25 Child will stand about 11-inches tall and features a sculpted vinyl head with soft body filled with beans, and unremovable robes (a shame for those of you who had hopes of changing him like a baby). Unfortunately, he's only available for pre-order AND WON'T BE AVAILABLE UNTIL APRIL 2020. How the hell did they not have these things ready for Christmas? Somebody is getting fired and, God willing, that person will be me -- out of a cannon. *slapping on crash helmet* LET'S DO THIS. Thanks to Closet Nerd and TheCureForHope, who agree Disney money, and particularly Star Wars money, practically prints itself.

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expensive-frozen-dolls-1.jpg
This is the limited edition (of two) Frozen 2 x Roberto Coin Deluxe Diamond Doll Set available exclusively from Saks Fifth Avenue. The set features Elsa, Anna and Olaf all outfitted with real diamonds and gems because somebody out there needs that since she probably already has two ponies. Some more info while I wonder if Christmas is even going to come this year:
The Disney's Frozen 2 x Roberto Coin Collection features fractal snowflake shapes symbolizing Elsa's inner strength and power, Anna's iconic, colorful wheat pattern representing her warmth, optimism and the Fall seasonal palette from the film, and Roberto Coin's ruby signifying his wish and dream of a joyful future. It also features a cool dusting of Olaf signature pieces to warm your heart. Roberto Coin signs each of his jewels with a small ruby, inspired by an ancient Egyptian legend that a ruby touching the skin brings happiness, prosperity and love. This limited edition doll set features Elsa, Anna, and Olaf outfitted in sparkling gems. ANNA'S NECKLACE Orange sapphire, 0.25 tcw Yellow sapphire, 0.05 tcw 18K yellow gold ANNA'S HAIR COMB Orange sapphire, 0.30 tcw Yellow sapphire, 0.10 tcw 18K yellow gold ELSA'S NECKLACE Amethyst, 0.81 tcw Green tourmaline, 0.10 tcw 18K white gold OLAF LARGE BROOCH Diamond, 0.73 tcw 18K white gold OLAF SMALL BROOCH 1 Diamond, 0.48 tcw 18K white gold OLAF SMALL BROOCH 2 Diamond, 0.48 tcw 18K white gold
Honestly, I expected more carat weight. That's only a few thousand dollars in gemstones, tops. Granted I know nothing about the price of gems and I once tried to pawn a piece of broken glass I mistook for a diamond, but that's not my point. My point is -- is this a pearl? "That's a tooth." How do you know? "I saw you pull it out." Haha, a kid on the back of the bus told me the tooth fairy pays double for adult teeth. Speaking of -- how are you with a shovel? Keep going for a few closeups.

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This is the Mars Dust Globe brought to life by toy designer Dan Abramson and available from Uncommon Goods. The 4-inch globe features an orb inside with a detailed topography of Mars on one side, and two astronauts standing on the planet's surface on the other. When shook, the $35 globe swirls with a red Martian dust storm. Will the astronauts survive?! "They're resin." Like what you'd scrape and smoke out of your pipe when you were desperate in college? "Huh?" What? Keep going for a couple more shots and another giffer.

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cat-skeleton-necklace-1.jpg
This is the 'X Ray Anatomical Gothic Skeleton Cat Necklace Jewelry - Macabre Witch Witchy Pagan Wiccan Skull Anatomy Animal Halloween Necklace Jewelry' designed and sold by Etsy shop BirchPleaseHQ. The laser-cut acrylic necklace is printed with UV inks, measures about 2.5-inches by 2-inches, includes a nickel-free or silver-plated chain, and costs $33. It even has a little mouse in its stomach! Me? I've never had a mouse in my stomach, but when I was younger I would take the ball out of the bottom and swish it around in my mouth waiting to connect to AOL. Keep going for one more shot.

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smash-mouth-all-star-melon-cover.jpg
Because everybody needs a hobby, this is a video of possible Steve Aoki impersonator and Youtuber Pupsi (I'm more of a Cuke guy myself) covering Smash Mouth's 'All Star' using nothing but the wind instruments he constructed from various melons. And speaking of melons-- "Boobies!" I swear, I can't take you anywhere. "We're at a strip club." WE'RE HERE FOR THE BUFFET. Now fill your pockets with that diced honeydew and don't even think about getting a lap dance afterwards. Keep going for the video while I fill my pockets with boiled hotdogs. Song actually begins at 1:45, everything prior to that is instruments construction.

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This is a video of Chinese martial artist Xiao Qiang repeatedly taking the invisible step trick to the next level and appearing to jump on water. Now that is impressive. For reference, I got lightheaded standing up from the toilet too fast this afternoon and hit my head on the coat hook on the inside of the stall door. "Jesus, you need stitches." I AIN'T NO SNITCH. Keep going for the video while I superglue my hand to my head.

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Because some people don't know when to just let something burn, this is a video from Samara, Russia of a BMW X6 that caught fire and a septic truck extinguishing it with a stream of liquid waste. Man, if only Youtube videos were scratch-and-sniff. "You're saying you would scratch this one." Absolutely, and anybody who says they wouldn't is a liar or can't because they don't have fingernails. Keep going for the full video.

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This is a video from not the MGM Grand starring two boxing opponents simultaneously knocking each other out. The way they both crumble at the exact same time doesn't even look real, it looks like a cartoon. Man, I still remember the last time I got KO'd. "Bar fight?" Fell out of my bunk bed building a pillow fort. Keep going for the video, but the 2XKO is at 0:50, followed by extreme ref confusion.

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mall-blue-screen-of-death.jpg
This is a shot from a mall (does anybody recognize it? And does it have an arcade and Orange Julius?) where the computer operating a fancy twisted display got hit with a dreaded blue screen of death. Man, it's been a while since I've seen one of those. Boner pill pop-ups? All the time. I welcome them with open arms like an old friend you have to hug from a distance. Thanks to Linby, who agrees the mall IT department ain't what it used to be.

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illumiknobi-1.jpg
This is the $50 Illumiknobi designed and sold by Pin & Tumbler Studio. Not only was it geniusly named, but it lights up when you approach it at night so you can see where it is. It's powered by a single coin-cell battery, which can allegedly power the knob for a whole year. Obviously, it's perfect for finding the bathroom door at night without fumbling around and waking your partner. I mean, at least not until the earsplitting diarrhea. Keep going for a couple more shots and a video.

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