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chewbacca-lights.jpg
This is a ten-light strand of indoor/outdoor Chewbacca lights available on Amazon ($27, regularly $37, *spit-takes*). They're an officially licensed Star Wars product and although I called them Christmas lights in the title, they're more whatever/whenever lights because who on earth would actually have a Star Wars themed Christmas tree? *watches all the hands go up* You know sometimes I forget who I'm talking to. So, yeah, if you were waiting for a strand of lights that look like ten wookies getting brainwashed at once, look no further. Thanks to Jeffrey S, who agrees these would look great strung over a Star Wars themed beer pong table.

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train-close-call-rescue.jpg
This is a video of a drunk Oakland Raiders fan (aren't they all? LOLOL) stumbling and falling onto the tracks of an oncoming Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) train when a station worker grabs him and helps him up with zero seconds left until imminent death or leglessness. Per a short interview with his personal savior, BART supervisor John O'Conner:
My honest opinion he wasn't gonna make it and I couldn't watch it happen. I'd like to think anybody else standing there would have done the same thing. I was-- God put me there for a reason, I guess.
Would anybody else standing there have done the same thing? Absolutely not. Most people would have just watched/filmed, then immediately posted about it on social media. I say maybe 1 out of 10 would have done what you did. You are a hero. Me? I don't ever stand anywhere near the tracks when I'm riding the train, but I also only ride public transportation in daydreams and lies. Also, a real Raiders fan would have tried to fight that train. Keep going for the video, complete with John's whirlwind interview.

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dungeons-and-dragons-proposal.jpg
These are 37-minutes of video highlights from the 12-hour live action Dungeons & Dragons themed scavenger hunt that Fairlith Harvey organized for her boyfriend, and proposed to at the end of. Some more info directly from Fairlith while I try to recall if I've ever participated in a scavenger hunt. Or true love:
On Saturday, October 12th, 2019, my partner thought he was getting up to go to work. Little did he know, I'd already called him out of work months ago... I had spent six and a half months saving every spare penny I got to give my Dungeons and Dragons-loving partner a 12-hour live action D&D adventure. Outside our front door waited a gift with a beautiful cloak my mom made, and some beautiful silver elf ear cuffs. In Jordan's message inbox waited the first DM video, from a fake Facebook account I made, 'Rolfur Initiative'. Then things got started! I flew his siblings, sister in law, little niece, best friend, and parents here. I got all of our actor friends involved. I got his stage combat troupe involved. I got my DM friend involved. I invited 100 of our friends. Friends and family made things from 100 lembas bread cookies to jokey signs for the tavern to carving cool names into foam swords to a weighted inflatable D20. Friends and family that couldn't be here made video clues for the treasure hunt. I have never loved anyone so much, and I want Jordan to feel confident and safe in our relationship and my love for him. This video doesn't encompass all of it, or even all the videos I have. This is highlights! I spent so much time making sure every moment was detailed. Seeing his jaw drop when he saw his family at the beginning of the day was the best moment of my whole life. The actual proposal (and summing up of the day's events) starts at: 28:02
Wow, so that's what true love sounds like, huh? Prior I'd only read about it in books and seen it in movies. Sounds powerful. Still, I guess it gives me something to hope for. "Falling in love?" What? No -- harnessing the power of love for evil. Now, you two there -- kiss while standing in this laser beam. Keep going for the video.

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perfect-circle-at-talent-show.jpg
This is a video of senior Caleb Bois bringing down the house at his Bangor, Maine based high school talent show by drawing a perfect circle on a whiteboard. Admittedly, that is a pretty sweet circle. So did he win the show? No clue, but I didn't win mine and I beer bonged a dozen raw eggs, projectile vomited past the fourth row, and scored a week of in-school suspension for all that talent. Keep going for the video.

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These are two short videos from a parking lot in Richmond, British Columbia of a Tesla Model 3 that was Smart Summoned by its owner from a busy street and has turned into a parking lot and is driving up a down lane trying to get to them. *honking horn, flipping bird* WHERE'D YOU LEARN HOW TO DRIVE, DUMBASS? *quickly rolls window up, floors it* Holy shit honey that was a ghost. Keep going for the videos while I open the floor to respectful discussion about smart summoning technology, and the people who use it.

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Because envision it and you can achieve it provided you aren't envisioning anything too hard and achieving requires very little effort, this is a video of Drew Clymer's modified 2003 Volkswagen Jetta TDI blowing black diesel smoke through a jack o' lantern he placed on the car's now-giant and now-vertical exhaust pipe. Dare to dream, kids -- that's the message here. *watches video, shrugs* Then when your dreams fail I suppose just do whatever. Keep going for the Instagram video with audio.

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Because this is America and just because is apparently as good a reason as any in these end times we're living in, this is a video of the 12,000-horsepower, 375+ MPH Flash Fire jet truck trying to roast a turkey dangling behind its engine. It's definitely able to sear the exterior a bit before blowing the entire turkey down the driveway. Would it even be possible to cook an entirely edible turkey at 1,650°F, or would the exterior be ashes before the interior was safe to eat? "Well--" I don't care I'm gonna try it anyways but with lava. Keep going for the video.

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This is a brief video of a man demonstrating an optical illusion chair. Haha, very funny -- all I wanted to do was sit and rest my legs for a bit because I've been on my feet all day working, and now I have half an armrest up my keister. "Half of?" All of. Plus a handcuff key, two hundred dollars and a burner phone just in case. Keep going for the full video, with a little bit more pan around reveal at the end.

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Note: Skip to 1:50 unless you want to watch two minutes of the most boring episode of The Office. This is a video of an SUV failing to park (it's hard!) and plowing through the front of an office building, not stopping until it crashes into one of the actual offices inside. Oddly enough, the front window of this particular office reads 'GLASS REPLACEMENT', so this was either incredibly coincidental or the most masterful piece of viral marketing I've seen in recent history. Keep going for the full video while I wonder what the person on the other end of that lady's phone call must have thought.

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This is a video from near the North Pole of a group of South African rugby fans playing fetch with a beluga whale using a Rugby World Cup ball. Of course the whale probably doesn't know it's playing fetch, it's probably fed up of these people losing their ball and it, being the good Samaritan that it is, having to retrieve it. "Dammit, I have fish to catch and eat!" I imagine it angrily whistling while making a mental note to try eating one of Santa's elves this year. Keep going for the video.

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This is a video from the PressTube Youtube channel of a fast shredder (watch out, Ninja Turtles!) destroying a variety of objects that didn't deserve it (that metal mixing bowl at 1:28!), culminating in the popping of a 50 meter roll of bubble wrap. So, if you were wondering why whatever the hell you bought from me on eBay arrived broken *side-eyeing PressTube channel* the shipping store was out of bubble wrap. Plus, okay, it was always broken and I planned on blaming UPS and not offering a refund. Keep going for the video.

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This is an animation created by scientist James O'Donaghue comparing the rotation speed (at a rate of 10 hour per second) and axial tilt of the planets in our solar system. Plus asteroid/dwarf planetoid Ceres. "And Plu--" I'm not going to have this argument with you. Especially on a Friday -- I'm not spending another weekend in the clink. The animation is basically a slightly upgraded version of this one he created previously. There's always room for improvement, that's my motto. Plus *wrapping tow chain around break room vending machine* it's never too late to start living the life you've always wanted. Thanks to Matthew H, who agrees Jupiter, Saturn and Ceres are clearly on the same drug.

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dog-communication.jpg
These are several videos of speech-language pathologist Christine Hunger's dog Stella using the custom soundboard she's been training with since puppyhood to communicate. The board currently contains 29 different words that Stella has learned individually, which she can string together to form thoughts much more complex than anything you'd read on Geekologie. Some more info about the first Instagram series of videos after the jump:
Video 1: After I said "Stella bed," she responded "Water." Sure enough, her water bowl was empty. Video 2: Stella drank her water. After I said "Stella bed" again, she responded, "Toy ball want." We always leave Stella in her bed with her Kong toy. She had to make sure I found it first! Video 3: After we found the Kong, Stella commented, "All done happy!" She got everything she needed and was ready for the day
Fascinating. You can follow Stella's progress on Instagram or at HungerForWords. I actually started teaching my dogs to communicate using human language but abandoned the project when they started conspiring about how delicious I'd taste. I also stopped letting them sleep in the bed with me. Keep going for some videos.

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This is a video of musicians Sophie Lloyd and Georgia Bell performing a duo shred medley of their favorite themes from the Game Boy (and now Switch) classic, The Legend Of Zelda: Link's Awakening. Unsurprisingly, like almost all things Zelda related, I'm into it. "And not just because of the rock babes?" THERE WERE ROCK BABES?! Keep going for the video while I nonchalantly ask my girlfriend to proofread this post for me and hopefully score some brownie points.

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This is a video from MIT's Biomimetic Robotics Lab of nine of their mini cheetah quadruped robots romping around in the fall weather. They stretch, run in place, roll around in the grass, play soccer, do synchronized backflips, attack each other, hide in leaf piles, and just all around prepare to take over the world. And, I think for everyone who's long since given up on humanity and been secretly building a rocketship in their attic and plans to rendezvous with Space Bat in early 2020 when I say do your worst. Keep going for the full video while I tighten some nuts.

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This is a video of a very skilled martial artist demonstrating her proficiency with kama blades (traditional Japanese farming tools like sickles, used for reaping crops), plus a little bonus sword action. Now those -- those were some moves. She reminds me of Thunder (one of the Three Storms) from Big Trouble In Little China, but even better. Plus I heard he used to make out hot and heavy with that floating eyeball monster. "Sick." I puked when Egg Shen told me, I really did. Keep going for the whole performance while I go nothin' or double on sneaking out of here early.

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fish-with-human-face-pattern.jpg
This is a video from Kunming Shi, China of a common carp (Cyprinus carpio -- although I'd argue this one is not that common) that appears to have a human face on the top of its head (and kinda looks like a skull when it eats). Well how about that! When reached for comment about the discovery, Aquaman swore he's never even met this fish's mom before. Keep going for the video.

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This is a very impressive stop motion video created by animator Bebop (no Rocksteady? or is this the Cowboy variety of Bebop?) of a pizza being made entirely out of LEGO piece ingredients, and consists of 3,300 individual photographs. At around two minutes long, that's like 27.5 photos/second. I don't even think I've taken 3,300 photos in my lifetime. I'm more of a 'take a mental snapshot' kinda guy and have zero proof I've ever been on a vacation. Keep going for the worthwhile video, particularly if you like eating LEGO blocks.

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This is a short video of a teacher getting repeatedly pranked by a student using photo-realistic stickers of her laptop screen, smartphone, and the classroom door handle. Admittedly, that's pretty fantastic, and looks well worth the plastic ruler smackdown he's about to receive. Speaking of -- when I was growing up in Catholic school the nuns would always smack my knuckles with a ruler if I wrote left-handed to try to force me to be right-handed. I persevered though, and now look at me. "A complete mess." Like a knot of broken Christmas lights. Keep going for a couple versions of the video while I print photo-realistic stickers of fire alarms and extinguishers, then start a fire.

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This is a video demonstration of the M-Block 2.0 self-assembling modular robotic cubes developed at MIT's Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence Laboratory. You may recall version 1.0 previously seen back in 2013 HERE. "I do not." Me neither. The cubes can move on their own (including rolling, jumping, and climbing other cubes) thanks to the angular momentum created via braking of a 20,000RPM internal flywheel, and can self-assemble into a variety of different structures, which, based on a quick skip-around of the video, did not include a flesh-melting laser cannon, which is a relief. Or a penis, which is a shame. Keep going for the video demo.

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