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fancy-star-wars-cookware.jpg
This is a short video introduction to Le Creuset's Star Wars cookware collection, including $30 R2-D2, C-3PO and BB-8 mini cocottes (small Dutch ovens), $20 Death Star and Millennium Falcon trivets, a $25 Porg pie bird, a $395 Darth Vader Dutch oven, and a $450 Han Solo in Carbonite roaster. They also made nine very beautiful hand painted Tattooine double sun inspired Dutch ovens, but they're only selling four in the United States, they cost $900, and you have to win the chance to purchase one by entering your email address HERE. I just entered all six of my email addresses with the hopes of getting the opportunity to buy one, then selling it for like $10,000 to some rich nerd. I mean can you even call yourself a real Star Wars fan without a 1 of 9 limited edition Tattooine Dutch oven? Because a truly hardcore fan would buy all nine so nobody else can have one at all, then destroy eight. Keep going for a video of everything.

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crochet-alien-costume-1.jpg
These are a couple shots and videos of the glow-in-the-dark xenomorph and Skeletor costumes freehand crocheted (no pattern) by Stephanie Pokorny of Crochetverse for her son this Halloween (previously: her crocheted E.T., Predator, and Slimer costumes). Now these -- these are how you win a Halloween costume contest. I mean I assume, I've never actually won one. Bribing with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups didn't work though, I do know that. Keep going for the rest as well as BONUS Pennywise, Smurf, and garden gnome costumes (I think the garden gnome might actually be my favorite).

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This is a clip from the soon-to-be-released PBS nature documentary Octopus: Making Contact (previously, maybe we'll see the whole thing in clip form before it's officially released!) focusing on the early life of cephalopods, including various octopuses, squids and cuttlefish. Apparently all the animals rely on their hard-wired instincts to hunt, evade predators, and survive. Now that I've typed it I realize that's not really any new information. Still, it's not easy navigating being a baby all on your own with no parental guidance, but I did it. "You said you were raised by wolves." Only from three to seven. Keep going for the video.

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Because once you pop (a Tide Pod) you can't stop (your taste is just forever changed), this is the Glenlivet Capsule Collection, three Glenlivet Private Reserve based cocktail recipes served in the edible seaweed based capsules created by sustainable packaging company Nootka. You just pop a pod in your mouth and bite. Then wince and agree one was enough. But let's not forget the most important part of the experience. "Instagram photos." How else is anybody going to know you got to try something they haven't? Keep going for a video about the booze pods.

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robotic-vacuum-vs-dog-mess.jpg
Uh-oh. What have I done? These are two videos of a robotic vacuum biting off more than it can chew and trying to make a fresh dog turd disappear by smearing it all over the rug its on. Admittedly, as bad as it is, that could have been a much juicier, more devastating turd. Still, this is exactly why you shouldn't let these alleged 'helper' robots into your house. "Says the guy who smeared a dog turd into the carpet with a regular vacuum." To my credit, it did look dry. Keep going for the videos.

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This is a short video of an innovator who added a metal folding chair to an electric scooter and took to the streets. Pretty major streets too from the look of things. Now all he's missing is an extension cord safety belt. Admittedly, I do like sitting down far more than I like standing. Of course *strapping inflated air mattress to scooter* I like laying down the best. *patting mattress beside me* Little spoon? We can hit a drive-thru and have breakfast in bed! Keep going for the full video, which amazingly does not involve any crash footage.

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star-wars-lamps-1.jpg
These are the Millennium Falcon and TIE Fighter posable desk lamps available from Merchoid (TIE Fighter available now, Millennium Falcon shipping October 31st, $66 for either). As far as things like this go, these are not the worst things like this I've seen. I like how the light of the TIE Fighter is the cockpit and the Millennium Falcon's is the ship's engines. That was a nice touch. Unfortunately, despite the product photos, these units do not actually produce smoke, so you'll have to constantly blow your lightsaber vape at them if you want the same effect. Keep going for a couple more shots of the Falcon and a few of the TIE Fighter.

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blue-cheese-lollipops.jpg
These are the blue cheese flavored lollipops available from Lollyphile (4 for $8). Their product description while I write to ask if each purchase comes with a complimentary America grill:
Of all our mind-blowing flavors, we're going to go ahead and say that this is the mind-blowingest. It started off as a joke. We were all scared to try it. Maria (our maple-bacon model) popped it in her mouth and said, "Oh! It's awesome!" And we assumed she was lying...
Now I love blue cheese as much as the next guy who quietly spoons out and eats all the chunks in the jar of dressing while his girlfriend is distracted by one of her shows, but I'm not sure how I feel about it in lollipop form. Also, while perusing the rest of their wares I happened to notice they've added breast milk flavored lollipops to their lineup, which might be perfect for those days you're really missing your mom. Keep going for one more shot.

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This is a video demonstration of the LEONARDO (LEg ON Aerial Robotic DrOne -- come on, that's really pushing it) bipedal robot with drone thrusters developed by engineers at Caltech's Center for Autonomous Systems & Technologies (CAST -- now that's an acceptable acryonym). it uses the upward force of its thrusters to remain standing, and can walk around on its two chicken legs. Does it serve any more practical purpose than just a drone? Not that I can see, but I did put my contacts in the wrong eyes this morning. "Did you swap them?" Haha, no....my roommate started throwing punches when he woke up and realized the prank I was trying to play. Keep going for the video.

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This is a video of a Theraphosa Stirmi (burgundy goliath bird eater tarantula) shedding its exoskeleton over the course of several hours, timelapsed down to only 22 seconds. That's good, because I'm not sure how much more of this I could have stood. I mean, unless there was money involved. I'll put up with just about anything if there's money involved. You wanna come scream at me fifteen minutes straight to let off a little steam? That'll be five bucks. "What's preventing me from just doing it for free?" A MORAL CODE. "And if I don't have one?" Then my backpack full of tear gas and ninja stars. Keep going for the video.

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speaking-in-tongues.jpg
This is a worthwhile video of evangelist Perry Stone warming up with some repetitious religious phrases, then proceeding to speak in tongues (Glossolalia) and moan while casually scrolling through his phone for a full minute during a recorded broadcast at the Omega Center International in Cleveland, Tennessee. That was definitely some pretty wild Holy Spirit action. I liked the guy with the giant cross/battle axe tattoo on his forearm wiping down the table. Also, what's up with that olive oil -- does he drink that straight? Now I hate to jump to conclusions, but I bet you anything he was just reading Geekologie comments out loud. Keep going for two versions of the video in case one doesn't work (the real phone use starts around 0:30) while I insist I can speak in Parseltongue even though I'm a Ravenclaw.

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foggy-base-jump.jpg
This is a video of a base jumper climbing then leaping off the top of an antennae tower during very heavy fog one morning. A transcription of the jump, but read it all in a partial cartoon voice for realism:
3...2...1...send it! *jumps, opens parachute, grabs handles* Woowoo, yeah! *parachuting* Haha, that was f***ing awesome. *crashes into corn plants during landing* Corn field landing! Guys, that was f***ing awesome. I'm lucky I got that turn in when I did or I would have landed deeper in the cornfield. Haha, yes! Hehehe. *stuffing parachute in back of car, unbuckling, breathing heavy* Alright, time to get the hell out of Dodge.
Obviously, I was really hoping for that landing deeper in the cornfield, then a bunch of running around in circles unable to find his way out while police arrived, but *shrug* I guess Santa felt I haven't been very good this year. I'm gonna be really good next year though so I can get a Playstation 5 for Christmas. *fast forward to mid-January, already deep on Santa's naughty list* Plan B: we'll rob a store on Black Friday. Keep going for the video, actual jump begins at 2:15.

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This is some Ring home security cam footage of 59-year old Fort Lauderdale, Florida man Randall Thomas Williams stickering over the QR codes of some Lime on-demand electric scooters (so they can't be scanned and activated), then returning to cut their brake lines for good measure. Randall was identified and arrested after the footage was turned over to police, who believe he's responsible for similarly vandalizing at least another 140 scooters in the area. Details from the South Florida Sun-Sentinel while I speculate what my vigilante justice calling will be:
[The man] offered no motive during his arrest, a Fort Lauderdale police report said. He also requested a lawyer and said he "did not want to dig himself into a grave," police said. During the dark predawn hours, Randall Thomas Williams would set out with a single glove, wirecutters and pliers and, while sticking to the shadows and alleyways of his Las Olas neighborhood, search for the controversial, yet popular, rental scooters that have swarmed the city for nearly a year, police said. He's been doing it since at least May, police said, and has vandalized at least 140 e-scooters in the same fashion, most within a two-block radius of Williams' apartment at the corner of Southeast First Street and Southeast 12th Avenue between Broward and Las Olas boulevards.
Man, it's crazy the things people fixate on and let drive them crazy to the point of criminal activity. I mean, are on-demand electric scooters really ruining Randall's life? ABSOLUTELY, and he should have worn a ninja mask if he didn't want to get caught, what a dumbass. Keep going for the video.

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spider-man-video-game-jumps.jpg
This is a video comparison of Spider-Man jumping from the highest point possible in his video games released 2004 - 2018, including Spider-Man 2 (2004), Ultimate Spider-Man (2005), Spider-Man: Web Of Shadows (2008), Spider-Man 3 (2007), The Amazing Spider-Man (2012), The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014), Marvel's Spider-Man (2018), and a BONUS climb and jump in LEGO Marvel Superheroes (2013). They really didn't go too crazy with the video game naming, did they? So, which jump was your favorite? I'm partial to the one in Marvel's Spider-Man, but FULL DISCLOSURE: that's the only one I actually played. Granted it took me a while to get the web-swinging mechanics down, but when I did, man, I was still not very good come over and beat the hard parts for me, please. Keep going for the video.

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This is a short video of a man live-reporting with his vape at a music festival where a dust devil has taken a bunch of trash and a number of un-spiked tents to the sky. This would probably be that American Beauty kid's new favorite movie. It's kind of beautiful, isn't it? Like somebody just shook a music festival snow globe. Keep going for this video, as well as another longer one from maybe the same event, which, okay, I may have posted a different one of earlier now that I really think about it.

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This is a video of paramotor flyer and Youtuber Anthony Vella flying his machine to a Texas Walmart, picking up some basic sandwich making ingredients, then making himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on his return flight. In his own words while I stand behind someone at the vending machine like I'm waiting my turn, then snatch whatever they buy out of the trough before they can. Hopefully not just some lame-ass gum:
I flew my flying machine (paramotor) to Walmart and made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich during the flight back home! El Paso is a great place to live and there is always so much to do.
Ahahahhahahhahaha. I'm sorry, but I feel like if El Paso really is such "a great place to live and there is always so much to do," maybe paramotoring to Wal-Mart to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich isn't the best example. Keep going for the video.

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walnuts-under-car-hood-1.jpg
These are a couple shots of Pittsburg, Pennsylvania couple Holly and Chris Persic's Kia Sorento. Apparently Holly noticed some smokey smell while driving and heard some strange noises coming from the engine compartment so she popped the hood and SURPRISE: over 200 walnuts and a bunch of grass. "Weed?" No not weed. Dammit, I thought you were supposed to be the smart one in this relationship.
"They were everywhere, under the battery, near the radiator fan," Chris said. "The walnuts on the engine block were black and smelt like they were definitely roasting." Holly had her car inspected last month but hadn't looked under the hood since then, her husband Chris told CNN on Tuesday. The walnuts started falling only a few weeks ago. "The squirrels worked pretty fast!" Chris said. They had noticed there weren't very many walnuts around the yard, given how big the tree is, but they said they didn't think they would find them under the hood of their car.
Always check under your hood for nuts, that's the real message here. Otherwise one minute you'll be driving along just fine, and the next you're in the middle of some deranged version of 'The Christmas Song.' "Those are chestnuts roasting on an open fire." I'm sorry, but I did say deranged, didn't I? Keep going for a closeup while I hope these squirrels still have enough time to stash their winter nuts away because I care.

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This is some home video footage of a dad who, along with his young sons (or possibly son and relative or friend of son), was able to visit the set during a break in the filming of Ghostbusters 2 in New York City. They get to see the Ecto-1, as well as the cast resting in between scenes, including Dan Akroyd, Bill Murray, Ernie Hudson, and the very sweet Harold Ramus. Their tour ends with the kids actually getting to sit on the hood of Ecto-1. Wow wow wow. If that had been me I would have pooped my pants FOR SURE. As a matter of fact, just watching it now and IMAGINING that was 4-year old me I think I came close. "You should probably go check." There is something strange in the neighborhood. Keep going for the video.

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This is a video of 'One Giant Leap', the Ohio State Marching Band's recent half-time performance during their trouncing of Michigan State on October 5th, which was a celebration of the 50th anniversary of the 1969 moon landing. The highlights of the performance so you know where to skip to because it's a nine and a half minute video and don't want to waste your entire bathroom break:
Approximately 2:55 is the 'Saturn V launch' Approximately 3:40 to 3:55 is the 'Extravehicular Activity/Spacewalk' Approximately 4:25 to 4:45 is the 'Lunar Module' marching across the field Approximately 4:59 to 5:05 is 'Man landing on the moon with flag' Approximately 8:15 to 8:19 is 'SMALL STEP' spelled out on the field Approximately 8:24 to 8:30 is 'GIANT LEAP' spelled out on the field
Man, it would have been really nice if this country could have gotten its act together and celebrated the 50th anniversary of the moon landing by actually going back this year. Televise the whole thing in high definition, get people excited about space again. Really put the spark back in our space life, you know? "Like buying a sex toy." Exactly. Exactly like buying a sex toy. Keep going for the video.

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godzilla-car-horn.jpg
Note: watch your volume. This is the wireless Godzilla roar car horn available from Boom Blasters ($60). You just hook up the included horn to any 12-volt power source, and start jamming on the wireless button to let Godzilla do his thing. In this case, roar at 120 decibels. For reference, most standard car horns are 100 - 110dB, so it's pretty loud. Maybe not as loud as my roommate coming home drunk at night, but I'm fairly certain at least one of his parents was either a gunshot or a rocket taking off. Keep going for the video demo while I speculate just how effective a Godzilla car horn is going to be.

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