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paranoid-android-on-theremin.jpg
This is a video of musician Cihan Gulbudak performing Radiohead's 'Paranoid Android' vocals on a theremin. It works unsurprisingly well, although almost anything performed on a theremin sounds like ghosts wailing. And you know how I feel about ghosts. "They're the only thing that scare you." FACT. Now don't go using that information against me in some sort of elaborate scare prank, because I do sleep with a proton pack, and I'm not afraid to use it. "That's a leaf blower." The man at Home Depot said it was a proton pack. "Did he?" Probably not, but in the famous words of Lisa Loeb-- "You only hear what you want to." Gosh, do you love me as much as I love you or is this all one-sided? Just tell me now before I convince my mom to drive me to Zales. Keep going for the video.

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ai-generated-face-decay.jpg
This is a video of an AI generated human face rapidly decaying as neurons in the neural network memory map that represent its creation are removed. I'll be honest: it wasn't a feel-good story. By the end it's just sort of a creepy skull shape surrounded by darkness. Did it speak to you? Please tell me it spoke to you too. "Figuratively or literally?" In a voice that sounded like fire crackling. "Um, what?" Why is it so hot in here all of a sudden? Uh-oh. Oh no. *passes out, comes-to five minutes later* "Are you alright?!" I'm fine, I'd just forgotten I buttchugged that hot sauce at lunch. "Classic GW." Greg owes me two dollars. Keep going for the video.

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This is a video from a bridge on a dark highway in Voronezh, Russia on which some road repairs were being performed, and workers left for the night with an unmarked hole and some concrete and other debris in the left lane. That was nice of them. Thankfully, although two cars discover the mess too late and one ends up overturned, nobody was seriously injured. Now if that had been me driving, somebody definitely would have been seriously injured, and that person would be whichever road repairmen was unfortunate enough to show up for work first the next day. "You're such a tough guy, GW." Stand right in front of me, I'll protect you. Keep going for the video, complete with aftermath.

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This is a video of a group of researchers from University Of California Berkeley's Hybrid Robotics Lab training a Cassie humanoid leg robot (previously) how to balance on and autonomously operate a pair of electric skates (aka hovershoes, a disappointing misnomer). So, if you thought your roller skates were going to save you in the event of a robot uprising, think again. I mean unless they're rocket powered, but we all know how well that worked out for Wyle E. Coyote. "How did it work out for him?" He finally caught the Road Runner, they should totally be your plan A. Keep going for the video while I speculate why they didn't just give it tank treads and get this over with already.

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In other, much more promising robotics news, this is a video of a Boston Dynamics Spot quadruped robot taking a rather unpleasant spill during a live demonstration at Amazon's re:MARS tech conference. It's like it suffered from a sensory overload and went haywire. Thankfully, initiating play dead mode prevented it from leaping into the audience and attacking everyone like it had initially planned. That's a relief. Also, an important lesson. "Which is?" Never sit in the front row, and always have an exit strategy. "Valuable information." PROTIP: smoke bombs and grappling hook. Keep going for two different angles of the spill.

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In what has apparently been popping up at Oktoberfest celebrations worldwide in recent history, this is a human puppet style drinking game, in which contestants have to use strings to carefully maneuver a beer glass to their lips in order to drink. It looks like fun. It also looks like a great way to spill a lot of beer and chip a tooth. I think I've mentioned it before, but I chiseled one of my teeth out with nothing but a fork when I was in college. "Jesus, GW." Think Tom Hanks in Cast Away but with fewer friends. Keep going for two different versions of the game being played (one with corded handles, one with strings tied around fingers).

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This is a video of some fun-loving bros competing in a downhill luge race at the Skyline Luge in Rotorua, New Zealand, where riders can reach speeds over 35MPH. It looks dangerous. And you know how I feel about danger! "You're always claiming it's your middle name even though it isn't." CORRECT. Keep going for the video, but search Youtube for Skyline Luge Rotorua (there, I did it for you) for more if you're interested.

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ancient-wolf-head-1.jpg
These are a few shots (including a CT scan) of a 30,000 year old head belonging to an ancient species of wolf that was recently uncovered in Siberia. The head, which would probably smell amazing thawed in the sun, measures almost sixteen inches long. For reference, modern wolf heads top out at around 11-inches, and I've heard whispered rumors that your penis has to be measured in fathoms. "You're familiar with the Mariana Trench?" What about it? "I've touched the bottom." HIYO! Exxon could probably make use of your talents. Obviously, this direwolf should be cloned so I can ride one into battle. "The Power Wheels isn't cutting it?" Well it seemed like a good idea at the time (of Toys 'R Us's going out of business sale), but it hardly strikes fear into the hearts of my enemies, even with all the upgrades. "What upgrades?" Mostly streamers. Keep going for a couple more shots while I call John Hammond.

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zelda-breath-of-the-wild-sequel-trailer.jpg
This is the trailer for the upcoming sequel to 'Zelda: Breath Of The Wild,' which was just announced at E3 to be in development along with the release of this trailer. Currently there's no title or even speculative release date for the Switch game, but rest assured I'll be on top of any developments. "Just like you were on top of remembering my birthday this year?" That's different, honey. "How is that different -- less important?" Dammit, GW, you're definitely sleeping in the doghouse tonight -- and probably under a car tire. Keep going for the trailer.

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ice-ice-baby-stephen-hawking-voice.jpg
This is a video of a couple DECTalk Express machines (the same style that Stephen Hawking used for his voice synthesizing) along with a computer hardware and high voltage spark coil band performing a remix of Vanilla Ice's 1990 classic 'Ice Ice Baby'. I'm not really sure what else to say about, besides this is the internet -- some days it's good to you, and other days you wish Al Gore had never invented it. "I assume this is the latter?" You know for being a series of tubes you'd think these M-80s would fit in it. Keep going for the video.

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This is a short video from The Guardian highlighting Japan's office chair 'Isu' grand prix. The events were started by Tsuyoshi Tahara in Kyoto in 2009, and there will ten separate races this year alone. That is some dedication to the sport. My money is on the Grim Reaper in pink. Some more info while I challenge my coworker Greg to an office chair race to the front lobby via the stairs:
Founded 10 years ago and inspired by Formula One and Le Mans endurance racing, the race sees teams of three battle it out on ordinary office furniture across two grueling hours to see who can complete the most laps of the 200 meter course. Tahara's idea has proved surprisingly popular, with 55 teams entering the Hanyu Grand Prix alone and hailing from as far away as Wakayama, 600 kilometers to the south. The winning team, Kitsugawa Unyu, come from Kyoto and so had also traveled several hours with their chairs for the race. Their reward was retaining the title they won last year and a prize of 90 kilograms of local rice, which the "drivers" struggled to pick up such was their fatigue.
That sounds like a good time all around. But do you have to use stock chairs or can you modify them? Asking for someone who's interested in starting their own office chair grand prix. I'm thinking some faster ball bearings for the wheels, jet boosters, spiked arm rests, an oil slick and-- "Wait, are those homing missiles?" No they're not homing missiles, they're just regular missiles -- I know how to aim. Keep going for the video.

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corgi-pokemon.jpg
In groundbreaking news, the new Pokemon Sword And Shield game will feature a Corgi inspired electric type Pokemon named Yamper. Admittedly, he does look like a little cutie. What will he evolve into? Presumably a senior Corgi Pokemon, and, eventually, just the fond memories of all the time you spent together and a little piece of your own heart missing. Thanks to Rita and Allyson S, who agrees it's only a matter of a couple games until a wiener dog inspired stretch type Pokemon.

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This is a video news report from CBS Chicago about the protective glass floor of the Willis Tower's 103rd story observation deck cracking while visitors were standing on it (apparently a woman and her two children). The protective glass is a layer above the actual glass support structure of the popped-out window and, according to a spokesperson for the Willis Tower, "No one was ever in danger because the protective glass did exactly what it was supposed to." So....it was supposed to break? Because I feel it should be supposed to not break and traumatize children. But what do I know? I'm just a man who's terrified of heights and slept at a slot machine for two nights in Vegas because I was too afraid to go up to my room. I also lost my condo that weekend. Winning at craps: apparently it has nothing to do with who bets they can take the biggest one. Keep going for the video news report.

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This is a video of Hyundai i20 R5 rally car driver Rok Turk and co-pilot Blanka Kacin narrowly avoiding a motorist who made their way onto the race course (technically just a rural road) during theI INA Delta Rally 2019. Those were some lightning quick reflexes, although I suspect that's par for the course with rally car drivers. I mean, at least they ones who aren't currently dead or hospitalized. Keep going for the whole video (which is worth watching in slow-mo to actually see Rok yank that wheel), complete with co-pilot's appropriate reaction.

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modern-lumberjack.jpg
This is a short video of a true outdoorsman (you can tell because he lives in Colorado and drives a Subaru) trying to remove a dead tree branch he's already cut most of the way through by tearing it off with his body weight and dropping it on his face. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, although I'm afraid this man of the mountains may require a new pair of self-tinting glasses now. Man, his wife must feel so lucky she's married to such a modern Paul Bunyan. Keep going for the video.

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jurassic-park-pee-wee-mashup.jpg
This is Pee-Wee's Jurassic Adventure, a mashup of the Jurassic Park t-rex Jeep chase scene ("Must go faster.") and Pee-Wee riding his bike in Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. And, unlike myself and the rest of the marketing team at the day job I've been writing Geekologie at under the radar for years now, they actually work well together. Keep going for the video while I flush, WASH MY HANDS, and return to my desk like I wasn't just in the bathroom for forty minutes.

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Because what else are you gonna do when you're sitting around drinking beer with your girlfriend while she talks about "all the numbers," this is a video of a man who decided to film himself flipping the cap off a Sharpie and trying to get it to land back on the pen. And in this particular clip, presumably hours if not days/weeks/months deep into filming, he actually does it. Man, what an accomplished feeling that must have been. Still, no word if that Sharpie has ever been involved in any butt play, but he found it in my junk drawer then it definitely has. Keep going for the video, as well as a slow-mo dramatic version.

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lego-han-solo-in-carbonite.jpg
This is a video of a group of LEGO builders constructing a giant 8 foot by 4 foot LEGO Han Solo in carbonite for display at the 2019 Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) to promote the 2020 release of LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga. The piece consists of 49,735 pieces, took 37 hours to design, and 210 hours to build (I assume that's cumulative man-hours and not total construction time). Obviously, it would look great in the foyer of my-- "You don't have a condo on the moon." Well not yet, but it's never too early to start gathering interior design ideas on my Pinterest board. Keep going for the video, as well as the trailer for the new LEGO Star Wars game.

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full-speed-tank-vs-car.jpg
This is a short video of a German Leopard tank running over a car at top speed. SPOILER: it completely demolishes it. You know, I'm surprised they don't have more tanks at monster truck rallies -- why do you think that is? "Because they're monster truck rallies, not tank rallies." You really are a genius, you know that? So tell me -- what are MENSA meetings like? "We all get naked and solve logic puzzles." I knew it! OMG you have to sneak me into the next one. Keep going for the video.

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extreme-mountain-biking.jpg
This is a long-form video of French professional mountain biker Yoann Barelli discussing and then riding each section of the Trespasser downhill mountain biking trail in Whistler, British Colombia -- allegedly one of the world's most difficult. He uses the word gnarly a lot, and it's appropriate. Even the path TO the trail looked like certain death to me, but I'm not a professional mountain biker. "But I thought you were good at everything." I am, I'm just not professional at anything, particularly doing my job. Keep going for the video, which is worth at least skipping around (3:55 and 8:00 for starters).

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